DP Article:
YAXLEY FAMILY OF 3 BRUTALLY SLAIN KENT - Charles Yaxley, along with his wife Destina (neé Goyle) and son Tiberius, were found dead in their Kent household last night at approximately 8.52 pm. Questions have arisen as to whether these recent deaths are connected with the Selwyn murders or if any of them are related to Grindelwald. The means were different, but the targets had much in common. When asked these most pressing questions, authorities declined to comment. The questions now, dear readers, in light of the tragic deaths of such esteemed purebloods and recent Ministry legislation to register all wands in Great Britain, are whether we are safe or not, and who we need protection from. 'DO NOT WAND!': WAND REGISTRATION IGNITES PUREBLOOD PROTEST LONDON - As so exclusively predicted by us here at The Daily Prophet, the Ministry of Magic most recently debuted its newly passed legislation requiring all magical, wand-carrying citisens of the empire to have their wands registered in a strategic move to provide more protection from Grindelwald's encroaching forces. 'The law is designed to provide security and peace of mind for all British citisens', one official remarked. 'We can keep track of all suspicious activity and resolve crimes much more efficiently'. But the new legislation has not been welcomed in all quartres of society. Many great pureblooded families have been particularly vocal in protesting the new laws, claiming invasion of privacy as chief among their complaints. 'Our families have existed for centuries!' Mr Gordon Goyle remarked. 'Some of us have nurtured many powerful secrets that have been the keys to our greatness. What will become of them now that they can be exposed and any mudb---d can get a hold of them?' Understandable worries, indeed. But what more important, dear readers? The security of a nation or the freedom of its individuals? In any case, the consequences of such laws remain to be seen. PROPHET PITHIES 1. While Violetta Black's upscale benefit was the talk of the town, her own niece, Cedrella Black--or should I safely say, former niece--may have overshadowed the aunt by dancing with a less-than-noble-born Septimus Weasley. The dance had reportedly sent the Black Matriarch in a rage. What's more? Rumours have it that Cedrella and Septimus have already secretly eloped! I smell the burning scent of another name being blasted off the tree... 2. The newly orphaned Selwyn may still be mourning the loss of his family, but he's sure to take comfort in the lovely enchantments of one Miss Dorea Black. It is said the young heir is courting the well-bred and well-travelled girl and the couple has already been on several engagements together. 'Dorea is absolutely mad about him!' a friend close to the family has enthused. 'He's charming, witty and quite the gentleman. She was worried about becoming old, wrinkled and worst of all alone because there was a time when no man would go near her. Now that Byron's come into her life, she sees him as a saviour!' Best wishes to the happy, glamourous couple! 3. A new name has been on everyone's lips of late--John Watson--and yet no one is quite sure of who this man is. Dashing duke? Savvy businessman? Debonair gentleman? 'I managed to catch just a brief glimpse of him!' one insider claims. 'He carries a very elegant cane and is very tall.' Whomever the man may be, one thing is clear: the wizarding world loves you, John Watson! |